We no longer have a land line phone number at my house (we switch to an internet based service), but for some reason we STILL have land lines. Every so often, one of our 2 land lines (not both at the same time, which is weird) will ring. We use to just pick them up normally as usual, but we soon got bored. From there many answerings of those phones where met with different languages (mostly Japanese on my part), "Bat-phone, Commissionaire Gordon speaking," by my dad, and (my favorite) "County morgue: you stab'em, we slab'em." It's been like 2 years since then and it's gotten to the point where I just pick it up and whisperer "...wwhhhaaaaattt..." really creepily into the mic before hanging up. The land lines don't ring as often anymore. ( ._.)
my teachers do that when they answer their phones xD Mr. V.: Welcome to pizza hut how may i help you? Mr. C.: Thank you for choosing McDonnalds Mr. N: *in chinese old lady voice* hello? you want orange chicken?
When this one guy who calls us every night called, I spoke in chinese. It was funny! lol
Me: ni hao (hello) Him: Umm..can I speak to *my dad* Me: wo bu je dao (I don't know) H: Do you speak english? me: hmm? H: DOO YOO SPEEK ENGLEESH?! Me: Noo....*said with accent* H: *like talking to a kid* Ok. Good bye now.
My old phone numer happened to be the phone number of a bus agency before we got it, so people called all the time asking about bus times and all. My mom, my brother and I, then, started to say "Go-With-God Funneral Services, where your mourn/death is our joy. How can we help you?" everytime we picked up the phone. Ah, too bad we had to move and couldn't keep the phone number...
I like confusing people even further like saying "hello i'd lie to oder.. blah blah blah" even though they called you :3 then get really enraged when they don't understand what you're talking about, wait until they call back... repeat. or! speak to them using lines from movies and see how long it takes them to hang up or realize it's a troll.
I would say: "Hello and welcome to the Mental Healthy Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive disorder, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please have someone press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, and 5. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, please stay put. If you are delusional, please press 6 and the mothership will arrive shortly. If you are schizophrenic, please listen and a voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressed, don't bother pressing a number, nobody will answer. If you are dyslexic, please press 69696969696969696969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until and representative comes online. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later. If you have low self esteem, please hang up, nobody has time for your problems. If you have amnesia, please leave a message with your name, number, address, social security number, mother's maiden name, and the name of your first pet. Thank you."