Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconnoxsatukeir: More from NoxSatuKeir


Featured in Collections

literature by Levitating-Narwhal

Literature by DevilsJewel94

Sayings, words, Animated stories, manga style by BlackWings101


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
October 12, 2012
File Size
1.6 KB
Submitted with
Sta.sh
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
2,846
Favourites
121 (who?)
Comments
55
×


The clock struck nine
The illusion of a beautiful woman

What madness can this be?
She is calling out to me
My name… my name on her lustful lips
And now my hands pressed on her hips
Oh! Her smile! Her caress!
That croon which must be blessed!

The clock struck ten
The temptations of a temptress

This woman, so beautiful in every way,
With my heart, she does recklessly play
Her eyes so dark, yet brightly glowing
Her hair so soft and gently flowing
Her skin so silky cannot be soiled
But to the touch, is so deathly cold

The clock struck eleven
The prayer without the belief

What this gorgeous being is, I don't bother
Yet hold silent prayer to our heavenly father
But now's not the time to worry with such strife
For tonight may be the rest of my ungodly life
My heart beats profoundly in my chest
"I love you" my words solemnly confessed

The clock struck twelve
The love of a man unloved

"Of course you do" my love left unreturned
But with her so near, I was unconcerned
Her breath on my neck and teeth at my throat
I let her conquer me as my life she smote
I fell away… away from the love I once sought
My life drained from me in a battle un-fought

The chimes of the clock beckoned forth night
And the man unloved gave up without fight
The illusion of a beautiful woman faded from sight
And all was still and all was right
I felt inspired.
As much as I'd love to talk about this poem, I feel that telling people what I think it means would not be as profound as having them come up with a meaning of their own.

Clock Image From
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmrskyoya:
MrsKyoya Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconclappingplz: Amzazing imagery and flow :heart:
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2013
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:icondeviant-by-silence:
deviant-by-silence Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012
Beautiful poem! It really speaks with a voice of its own
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Thank you!! :heart: I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D

Sorry for the late response though!! D:
Reply
:icontattoofuzzy:
tattoofuzzy Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012
I really enjoyed this! I had several ideas that cropped up through your words. Very well written, I loved the imagery.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :heart:

Sorry for the late response, by the way.
Reply
:icontattoofuzzy:
tattoofuzzy Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
You're welcome. It's ok.
Reply
:icondj-is-era:
Dj-Is-Era Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
I like it. You did a great job telling a story with this poem, and in free verse as well.
Free verse can be good, bad, alright, etc. That you did good with it shows that you put thought into the poem, and, of course, it shows.

Great job overall, you can be sure that I'll follow your works and give you my two cents whenever I have the chance.

Keep up the great work!

If you have any ideas that you'd like to share, or go over and talk about, or even a poem trade on an idea, I'd be happy to do that as well.

I wrote poems as well, with some short stories, etc. and would be thrilled to start expanding and finding talented authors on DeviantArt.

-Dj
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2012
Thank you so much for your feedback!! :heart:
I love writing! Even if I don't always have the time to.

By the way, sorry for the super late response!! D: I've got a lot of stuff in my inbox and I've been busy outside of dA, so I didn't get to it until late!!
Reply
:iconharleklown:
HarleKlown Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I sense vampires. :iconsmartyplz:
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
:P
Maybe just a little. XD
Reply
:iconalicelee296:
AliceLee296 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
thats really nice
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
Thanks!! :heart:
Reply
:iconelloyd:
elloyd Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
I enjoyed this, thank you!
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
I'm so glad you did!! :heart:
Reply
:iconavianex:
AvianEx Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hello,
I have a group, :iconwielders-of-the-pen: and they need more people entering their poetry contests, and I thought you might be interested.
I've noticed you like writing, and poetry is a great way to practice!
Also, if no-one joins the group will be closed D:
So if you can join and tell them you're interested, then that would be great!
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Oh no! Don't close it!! D: I'd love to join!! :heart: (I really like lit and poetry groups. :P)
Though I'm not always great at getting things done for contests. :ohnoes: But I'll certainly try!!
I just sent in my join request. :)
Reply
:iconavianex:
AvianEx Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Brilliant :)
Reply
:iconpastwriter:
Pastwriter Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
great poem, really wonderful story telling skills with the perfect rhymes. and the metaphor was very interesting.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thanks!! :D
I'm glad you liked it. :heart:
Reply
:iconpastwriter:
Pastwriter Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
no problem
Reply
:iconamy-louise-95:
amy-louise-95 Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
I love this, also love the fact that you left us to come up with the meaning, thats truely brilliant.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
I'm glad you liked it! :D
And I do find that people can feel the words more when they have to come up with the meaning on their own because then it means more to them and on a completely different level. :heart:
Reply
:iconbladebites:
BladeBites Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I couldn't help but think of Cinderella's dance with the Prince when I read this piece. It's beautiful.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :heart:
Reply
:iconbladebites:
BladeBites Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Very welcome. ^-^
Reply
:iconsvitavotara:
Svitavotara Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Oh, wow! Really nice poetry. I could feel as if I was in the place of the individual who confessed his love to the woman.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thank you!! :heart:
That's such a great compliment to me!! :heart:
Reply
:iconquincod:
quincod Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very very nice NoXXXy and you show why i still have a lot to improve upon. Now only if i could right vampire stories but i always preferred the succubus to the vampire.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
But I love your poems though!! :heart:
And if you make it vague enough, a succubus could totally pass as a vampire in a poem. :P
Reply
:iconquincod:
quincod Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
hm maybe some lust, need, and some uncertainty of what that need is i might be able to do it. i just might im starting to think of something.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Cool! Get your thoughts down right away! Don't let them slip away! :heart:
Reply
:iconquincod:
quincod Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
oh trust me they will change. the halloween started nothing like how it ended except for the first two lines which were revised numerous times..
Reply
:iconlucyaurora:
LucyAurora Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, thats just beautiful!
I love it. Really, really love it.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thank you! :D :heart:
Reply
:iconsaviorsnd:
saviorsnd Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
It is a beautiful piece of art. The way you wrote it is absolutely delightful.
The subjectivity is so clear and deep. I can almost feel what the character feels.
And the objectivity in the passage of time makes it feel even more real.
It's more then perfet in my eyes...

Sorry if I misspelled something. My english is just not that good...
Keep up with the good work. I'll be waiting for more.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Oh wow. Thanks! :D
I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much. :heart:
What wonderful praise! :heart:
Reply
:iconumioko:
Umioko Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely and nicely written.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thanks! :heart:
Reply
:icondrawn2pencils:
drawn2pencils Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
That illusion is go beguiing, sincere enough to take your breath and elusive enough to lead to death. Vampires, can't live with them and you live too long if you are one.
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
:P
Life as a vampire is just so interesting though. XD
Reply
:icondrawn2pencils:
drawn2pencils Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Over dramatized of late.
Reply
:iconmsbiffy:
MsBiffy Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Vampire! That's my explanation. :3
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2012
Maybe, just a bit! XD :P
Reply
:iconthemeepynerd:
themeepynerd Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I really don't know what to say for this! It was so well written, and it really got you to think. Unrequited love is such a depressing state, but love nonetheless, so he lets her take his life, even if she does so for food/fun. Absolutely awesome!
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thanks! :D :D
I'm glad you like it! :heart:
Reply
:iconjft15:
Jft15 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Student Filmographer
That's amazing
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2012
Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconicepearl14:
Icepearl14 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Really awesome! :D
Reply
:iconnoxsatukeir:
NoxSatuKeir Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2012
Thanks!! :D
I'm kinda weird about this one. I'm not sure I got it quite right. :?
Reply
Add a Comment: